BLOG 9/13/2017

In honor of September 11th, I thought I’d write a blog about how we treat each other. I’ve been wanting to write a blog on this for a while, and I felt it was the perfect time. If we all loved each other and had compassion for one another like we do during tragedy, the world would be an amazing place. On September 11th, 2010 we were reminded of this as humans—we joined together in support, love, unity, devotion, stability, assurance, strength, concern, empathy, sympathy, and pride. If we didn’t know someone who was effected by this tragedy personally, we knew someone who knew someone. For precious days, we sat glued to our tv’s, humble in our interactions with others, and a bit scared jointly for what to expect of our futures. It was the first true tragedy that I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news. History, news, and worldly issues were sadly never a focal point or interest for me as they should've been. I was knocked off my pretty little bubble into reality. Many of us understood our vulnerabilities and embraced those around us assuming that they were feeling the same. Their were few with cold hearts thinking only of buying up stock in New York funeral homes, but I do know of one! I felt the love around my community as we bound together—I did not see hate for any race, ethnicity, culture, skin variation or otherwise (although I’m sure many did). 

After the shock and news settled, people reformed back to their “old habits." Flipping off others for not seeing them in traffic, ignoring homeless beggars, selling rather than donating, separating rather than joining, and so forth. People rarely take the time to do something that doesn't benefit them in some way. It’s true for most of us—I’ve seen people beg for help when they've had more than the people offering help. Some of the most selfless, giving people that I know have less monetary things although they are rich in love, happiness, and fulfillment. Have you ever noticed that people seem to want attention for themselves, and more so in sad situations as if they too want the sympathy and support…not in a “I need attention” type of way, but more “I want to be a part of the majority” type of way. Almost in with the “in” crowd. It’s quite shocking how many people are all of a sudden “his best friend” or “her one and only true love” after they have left this life. Now obviously there are those people!!! I’m speaking of the ones who hardly knew someone or ever even saw them, and suddenly they were best friends. I know you've seen this! I cannot be the only person! Seldom will you hear someone like me that says “we didn’t know each other, but I’m here to pay my respects to their family” or “we didn't get along, but I’m here to support his wife” when people say “I'm sorry for your loss.” I appreciate it, but it’s really my friend or family’s loss…not mine.

However, the reason I came to such a difficult, vulnerable, and morbid topic, is because I had an epiphany one day:”What if everyone treated each other like it was the morning of their funeral?” What I mean by this is, if we treated each birthday, offer to meet for coffee, or personal time with your significant other like it was the very last time you could. I have said,”I wish I could hug him just one more time or see her one more time,” but I just missed so many chances to be with them, speak to them, embrace them, help them out, or praise them that I missed. On D day, everyone has good stories, everyone shows up if at all humanly possible, everyone dresses nice, everyone sees the most beautiful side of this person and genuinely earns for more of who they were; it’s appropriately called “paying your respects.”

All too often we don’t show the same respects to friends, family, strangers or anyone while they're alive. We judge, gossip, stab one another in the back, steal, lie, become unavailable, ignore, break plans, use unethical behaviors, lose loyalty, choose greed, monetary things are more worthy than gifts of time and love, and in a nut shell we find more important things to do that benefit us directly than whatever a friend has planned…a party, a phone call where she needs uplifting, to be picked up in the middle of the night after drinking…you get the idea. Most of us can say we are great friends, but to love each other like there is no tomorrow with an unconditional, pure love where the heart is always present when the body is not…that's what we should strive for! That would be a beautiful friendship. So let’s not just bind together in the time of crisis or pain, let’s remember those times, draw strength from them, and strive to keep our hearts and minds in that thoughtful, selfless state where we are mindful of our actions, loyal to those close to us, giving to those in need, and happy for those who need a smile. Thank you’s are in order to those in the military and the first responders who put their lives at risk daily to provide our security and our value of life with little thought of themselves before absolute strangers; not only them but their families too because their hearts are at risk all the same. It takes a powerful, strong family to live that every day! Much LOVE! Namaste…